Let’s talk superheroes. Personally, I’ve always been a loyal and ardent Batman fan. He wore black and seemed the most practical of superheroes I could find. (Who stops to let people take pictures of him when he’s trying to save the world?) I’m also a huge fan of his attitude towards crime and his awareness of how he toed the line of right and wrong.

I’m a sucker for psychological thrillers and Batman has lots of deep angsty thoughts. I have lots of deep angsty thoughts. I felt a kinship.

But, that’s not what I want to talk about. What I want to talk about is a revelation I had recently.

I hate most superheroines. Wonder Woman never failed to annoy the crap out of me, and all I could wish for was her to figure out what pants were.

Hawkgirl was a dominatrix at best. Exclusively shown in situation where she was struggling for her independence by going to dinner with stalkers and getting the crap beaten out of her. Who the hell goes out with stalkers? I don’t understand this! No reasonable woman I know would do anything like that under some misguided concept of “attaining her independence”.

The Black Canary was anatomically impossible (with boobs bigger than her head at times) and had terrible taste in men. (Not hating against the Green Arrow but seriously? What was up with that mustache?) Not to mention the fact that she was white, blonde, and essentially considered drop dead gorgeous.

I’m still waiting for a brown, hijabi, superheroine who does not have the world’s lamest power. (No, X-Men, having a random Arab chick that can turn into sand DOES NOT COUNT!)

Even the beloved Batgirl, as much as I loathe to outline the flaws in the Bat-Family I have to say, what is up with Batgirl’s suit? Not only skin tight and impractical, she was used (for the most part, I see you Batgirl Comics) mostly as eye candy where she flipped around a lot and flexed her butt.

However, it gets better!

The superheroine I want to talk about is the Oracle. The Oracle is Barbara Gordon (The original Batgirl and daughter of Commissioner James Gordon after her brutal torture by the Joker where the lower half of her body is paralyzed.)

I love her because first off her clothing is simple, t-shirts and jeans. Her boobs aren’t as emphasized (note: they still are) and she wears glasses.

Second, she is blindingly intelligent. I mean, its unreal. She is a computer scientist (GO STEM!) and is ridiculously good at it. She creates a new system for the Bat-Computer, that is so complex and efficient in its design that not even Batman could hack it.

In conclusion, I see her a the heroine of the future. She doesn’t need to be called “Super” because inherently she is. She is smart, independent without being ridiculous, and involved in crime fighting without the abnormally sized boobs.

I may not have a brown superheroine yet, and a hijabi one is a distant dream, but at least I have a smart one. Who doesn’t dress like her body is the main attraction.

Love,

The Fish