I’ve often been called a fighter in my family and I’m not really sure how to take that.
I mean, it’s not like I consistently punch people in the face so lord knows what they mean.
But, when I got asked what little thing I would do to change the world I thought well how about massive hugging and smiling.
I’m a big fan of hugging. I hug all the time, to nearly anyone. Hugging is amazing, it can instantly make someone’s day better.
Think about it, how many times have you seen the villain on a TV show or movie and though, ‘Man, this guy just needs a hug.’
Why did no one give him/her a hug?
He probably wouldn’t have wanted to kill anyone then!
Now, smiling. Smiling is awesome.
You know that saying, “Everyone smiles in the same language.”
Funny thing is, it’s true. I mean, that’s how I got through middle school. Just smile at people, they tend to think you’re a lunatic but I got through without getting beat up.
Also, it just makes people’s day better. If you don’t know someone well enough to hug them (which really when do you not know someone well enough to hug them) just smile at them.
Honestly, what I’m saying is that we need to bring back general kindness. To often I walk through DC and everyone is looking at the ground and scowling. Everyone looks miserable and angry and honestly like they couldn’t care less what was going on around them.
Why? Even on your worst day, just look at the person across from you on the metro and smile at them. (Unless they’re a creep) They’ll most likely smile back and look amazed that someone noticed they’re day was sucking too.
Honestly, most people just want to feel like someone notices their pain too.
And its not hard. Just smile at them. Hug someone. It’ll make their day better.
Seriously wearing a shirt with “Free Hugs” is nice and all, but how about instead of waiting for people to hug you, you go hug them.
Or just smile, even if you look like a psychotic madman, at least now your smile recipients have something else to gossip about.
Love,
The Fish
Note: Radford has the world’s worst bandwidth. Either that or someone needs to stop downloading whole movies off the internet.
So because Radford is spazzing here is the post copied from a Word Document:
I have to say, for me; personally my favorite news source is the Huffington Post.
Created by Arianna Huffington, Andrew Breitbart, Kenneth Lerer, and Jonah Peretti it is I’m reasonably sure, one of the only on-line news sources to win a Pulitzer Prize (if not the only). It was designed to go beyond simple news coverage by containing blogs, and original content. Not only do you get standard columnists you also get news that is updated fast and efficiently.
Most people view the Huff Post as having a liberal bias, which I can agree with to some extent. It is created to be neutral (but that never actually happens) but does tend to lean towards the liberal end of the deal. Also, the Republican Party has FOX news; let me have the Huff Post.
____________
I love the Huff Post because it is a fast and easy way to get news that is accessible and relatively easy to understand. It’s easy to learn about new concepts via the Huff Post because first off its the internet you can just google it and also the Huff Post tends to offer explanation and secondary articles to help explain things.
Finally, the Huff Post offers a wide variety of topics (business, entertainment, politics, culture, style, books, etc. Anything can catch your attention. From someone like me, who can’t always stand the news, I can start out reading something about books and end up reading about Wall Street. So, its a great way to make sure you’re always learning something. And learning is always a plus, so yeah, GO HUFF-PO!
Love,
The Fish
Let’s talk superheroes. Personally, I’ve always been a loyal and ardent Batman fan. He wore black and seemed the most practical of superheroes I could find. (Who stops to let people take pictures of him when he’s trying to save the world?) I’m also a huge fan of his attitude towards crime and his awareness of how he toed the line of right and wrong.
I’m a sucker for psychological thrillers and Batman has lots of deep angsty thoughts. I have lots of deep angsty thoughts. I felt a kinship.
But, that’s not what I want to talk about. What I want to talk about is a revelation I had recently.
I hate most superheroines. Wonder Woman never failed to annoy the crap out of me, and all I could wish for was her to figure out what pants were.
Hawkgirl was a dominatrix at best. Exclusively shown in situation where she was struggling for her independence by going to dinner with stalkers and getting the crap beaten out of her. Who the hell goes out with stalkers? I don’t understand this! No reasonable woman I know would do anything like that under some misguided concept of “attaining her independence”.
The Black Canary was anatomically impossible (with boobs bigger than her head at times) and had terrible taste in men. (Not hating against the Green Arrow but seriously? What was up with that mustache?) Not to mention the fact that she was white, blonde, and essentially considered drop dead gorgeous.
I’m still waiting for a brown, hijabi, superheroine who does not have the world’s lamest power. (No, X-Men, having a random Arab chick that can turn into sand DOES NOT COUNT!)
Even the beloved Batgirl, as much as I loathe to outline the flaws in the Bat-Family I have to say, what is up with Batgirl’s suit? Not only skin tight and impractical, she was used (for the most part, I see you Batgirl Comics) mostly as eye candy where she flipped around a lot and flexed her butt.
However, it gets better!
The superheroine I want to talk about is the Oracle. The Oracle is Barbara Gordon (The original Batgirl and daughter of Commissioner James Gordon after her brutal torture by the Joker where the lower half of her body is paralyzed.)
I love her because first off her clothing is simple, t-shirts and jeans. Her boobs aren’t as emphasized (note: they still are) and she wears glasses.
Second, she is blindingly intelligent. I mean, its unreal. She is a computer scientist (GO STEM!) and is ridiculously good at it. She creates a new system for the Bat-Computer, that is so complex and efficient in its design that not even Batman could hack it.
In conclusion, I see her a the heroine of the future. She doesn’t need to be called “Super” because inherently she is. She is smart, independent without being ridiculous, and involved in crime fighting without the abnormally sized boobs.
I may not have a brown superheroine yet, and a hijabi one is a distant dream, but at least I have a smart one. Who doesn’t dress like her body is the main attraction.
Love,
The Fish
Just so you can see.
Haven and I were listening to music off of my computer when the song “Fall For You” by Secondhand Serenade came on. I started nodding my head and humming along to the music because the song is actually pretty catchy once you get past the whole having-sex-with-me-will-fix-all-your-problems message.
The thing that startled me, though, was the placement and the dress of the female in the video. It was something I pointed out to Haven who was all, “Why don’t you write about that for your homework?”
So, Haven, this is for you.
When you watch the music video, exactly six seconds in the video switches to an image of a young woman laying on her bed. She is also not exactly fully clothed.
Okay, what? When you step back and think about this. How creepy is that? The viewer is literally creeping on this woman while she is lying defenseless in her bed. Not only that, she is sleeping half naked (clad in only underwear). The subliminal messages this sends is astounding.
Another example, throughout the video the male singer remains fully clothed while the female goes through two stages of dress. She is either only in her underwear or she is in a bathrobe where it is implied that she is not wearing much else.
How is this portraying her as anything other than a sex object? Regardless of what the song says, the video implies that in reality all he wants is for her to be a constant willing sex toy, ready to pander to his needs.
Remember people, this song was a hit!
Not only that, she is never shown as the dominant in any situation. Nor is she even shown as an equal. She is always either laying down, being twirled, or being carried. All while being half naked. This is all accompanied by lyrics stating, “Don’t make me change my mind” and “And hold on to your words ’cause talk is cheap.”
The scary thing about all this is that this song was so popular. Even I liked it. I never fully realized this hidden message that didn’t horrify me until I really stopped to look at it. I just accepted that yeah, its cool to stare at a half naked chick while she’s trying to sleep. We do that all the time, or yeah its alright for her to never put on any clothes throughout the video.
What is this telling the greater population? That its okay to view women as sex toys without personal needs or emotions (because they were not addressed in that video)? That women are made to please you? That its okay to creep on young women when they are trying to sleep? That its advisable to sleep half-naked?
Okay, that last one doesn’t really matter, but still. My point stands. We need to be careful about what we listen to. It is so easy to become desensitized in society. The moment you stop noticing discrimination, the harder it is to pinpoint.
In the words of Mad-Eye-Moody (may he rest in peace), “CONSTANT VIGILANCE!”
Love,
The Fish
I don’t really know if I could pinpoint a specific moment in time or even a span of time where I became aware of gender roles. Growing up with a sister and two brothers I think maybe I was always inherently aware of some form of a socially accepted difference between genders.
When I was younger, I played with tea sets, blocks, action figures, stuffed animals, and dolls.
I ran and climbed trees;
I wore dresses and sang;
I raced with my brothers and sisters;
I danced with my mom and my dad;
I watched Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles
and Spiderman
and Batman
and Sagwa (the cat that wrote calligraphy with her tale)
To me, there almost was no difference. Sure, I prayed behind them. But we all learned the same words.
If I had to pinpoint maybe a circumstance I became aware of, it would be the style of dress.
I remember when I first became aware of the hijab. I thought it was beautiful, I’ve wanted to wear one since I was three years old. I was so ready. I wanted to stand for my religion. For other Muslim women.
I wanted to be a symbol of Islam.
Then I started to realize all that came with it.
The responsibility, the etiquette. The fact that everyone was always watching me.
My mom was sort of influential in our mosque. So, everyone knew who I was. It was great, but also terrible. Everyone saw me. Whenever I did anything wrong it was immediately reported back to her.
I was terrified of toeing the line.
I remember the hard years of never feeling comfortable in shorts. I wanted pants. I never liked showing my arms, I wanted full sleeves.
I remember the long summers, where the sun beat down on your head and gave your pounding, earth shattering headaches. I remember soaking my shirts with sweat and thinking It’s not supposed to be this hard.
Faith isn’t supposed to be this hard.
I remember finally wearing the hijab. I remember the teasing, “towelhead”, “bandana brain”. I remember people tugging at it, pulling at it. “Ha ha! Wonder if it’ll fall off if I pull harder.”
I remember other girls thinking I was weird because I like Batman, and I thought I could control the moon.
I remember thinking, why is it so hard?
Then I remember when the summers got cooler, and everything was more manageable. The girls and boys who used to talk about Batman with me. My friends who thought they could control the clouds, and the sun. The girls and guys who played tag with me.
I remember pulling on all of those memories. Building my hijab with it. Building my clothes with it. My style of dress.
So, I don’t think I ever really picked a moment where I decided to subscribe to any certain definition of what a man was, or what a woman was.
You have to find your own definition. Whether it’s pulled from Batman, mutant turtles, the moon and tea sets. Or dresses, spiderman, cars, and bunnies.
Be your own “me”.
I just re-read the prompt and realized that I completely left the prompt and was just like “lalala, let me write about whatever I want. Prompt? What prompt? Oh a specific memory? Oh, haha, you make me laugh. That’s what we were supposed to write about? Well then, this post is sort of ridiculous.”
Sorry,
The Fish
I like the idea of an X. But, my prominent feelings are, society changes gradually. We can affect the social norm. It will take time, but its possible. I mean, look at history.
The Civil Right’s Movement, peaceful protests to appeal to the common good of man in order to affect society.
Ghandi, gain the love of the people to inspire the people. The people are the revolution.
The protests against the war in Vietnam, where people finally asked the question, “Why?”
Society is a reflection of “us”. So, in order to change society, start with “us”.
If we really want to change the social norm on how women are viewed. We have to change how we view ourselves.
I mean, didn’t Ghandi say, “Be the change you want to see in the world”?
Love,
The Fish
Equality and development will not be achieved however if peace is not understood from women’s’ point of view.
Jenny Shipley
smallestfish 